A Message for my daughter

Ellie moved to France with her father at a young age. There were long, in-depth conversations about the move, but we came to the agreement that, for Ellie to pursue her snowboarding, they would reside in France.

This was not without problems financial, logistics, travelling and most of all the distance between us, which caused much heart ache.

We learned to deal with being apart, we formed coping mechanisms and eventually Ellie started showing talent in the snowboarding world. She was at her happiest in the mountains, the snow and open space… she would call me and be so excited and so full of contentment. So for me, as her mum that’s what I needed to hear as at home my heart was breaking because I missed  her so much. But who am I to take that dream from her? As a parent you only hope the choices you make are the right ones

I will never know why she ended her life. There are many reasons; it could of been some we know and some we don’t, but I do wish I could turn the clock back and tell her it really would have been ok and Ellie, you have so much to live for.

My message to you Ellie is simple. I will always ask your permission because I will be representing you. I will talk clearly and respectfully as I will consider your would feel when I’m talking about you. I will be mindful not to speak out of context and continue to support others to do well with the drive and passion you had.

You are me and I am you, so you’re not too far away, we’re two peas in pod !!! I love you millions and trillions xxx

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